From France Femdom to the Femdom Ball: attending an across-the-channel event
A few months ago, I told you I was going to attend France Femdom, an event which fully honours dominatrixes. I attended as planned, and this meeting naturally pleased me. I am now looking forward to going to England on the occasion of the Femdom Ball.
This post’s aim is to introduce you to this convention. It also consists, if not above all else… of a celebration of female domination. I’ll use this opportunity to contextualise my attendance; you’ll discover why I am fond of these parties that are far from the canons of pornography, where pleasures are cerebral before all else, and subtly erotic.
Let me take you across the Channel, first through this article. And who knows? Perhaps when the Femdom Ball comes, we’ll meet each other…
What is the Femdom Ball ?
The Femdom Ball is an exquisite event — I hither employ the terms used on the dedicated website. It was created by the remarkable Madame Caramel, a mythical dominatrix with endless talent.
There are several similarities between the spirit of this event and that of France Femdom. It is also the occasion for dommes from all over the world to talk about their practices. There is an evident cerebral dimension, as well as a cultural one. With apologies to the cynical, there is nothing shady nor macabre on the programme.
Consent and security remain guaranteed, as they are evident values, and supported by everyone involved. Therefore, the different BDSM games can take place under the best possible conditions. Ardent pleasures naturally meet sophistication.
As for logistics, note that the next edition will take place in October, from the 4th to the 6th, in London.
Here are other principles indivisible from the Femdom Ball.
Femdom Ball: a specific dress code, for a phantasmagorical experience
A dress code is given. Women are naturally invited to show their authority aesthetically, as well as their ascendancy on the dominated. Clothes and accessories “must reveal the [inner] dominatrix” of each guest. The official website gives a few examples: latex or leather outfits, as well as corsets, are welcome in this universe where clothing plays an essential role.
In fact, the Femdom Ball isn’t about hiding behind your clothes, but rather revealing yourself through them. Revealing does not prevent anonymity, however. Some people wear a mask or other accessories in order to maintain their discretion. I belong to this category — we’ll come back to it.
The fact remains that accessories and costumes aren’t ridiculous. On the contrary, they allow inner desires to express themselves, to take form and shape during the event. Here is why — amongst other reasons — I hold dear this convention.
How must the submissive dress at the Femdom Ball?
As for the sub, he will wear his devotion, the one he must show to his dominatrix unconditionally. As a domme, note that I attach a great importance to glorification. With a nuance however: in the context of my games, I do not impose wearing a tux or something of the sort. The nature of the textiles (or their presence…) depends on the scenarios.
At the Femdom Ball, elegance is justly synonymous with reverence. Refinement must translate as the celebration of domination, especially that of the women present at this meeting. I fully respect this choice; it is one of the trademarks of this unique event.
If you are lucky enough to appear on the guest list, you will have to “show your commitment to the world of Female Domination” (I am once again quoting the organisers). It’s a little like a ritual confirming your adoration.
Respecting the code of conduct
It is sometimes said that respect is disappearing.
Isn’t it a pretext? I believe that it is up to us to cultivate it. And it’s exactly what the organisers of the Femdom Ball offer. Attending this event means showing reserve and distinction. It means renouncing insults, and strictly respecting the integrity and dignity of every person present. Of course, there are moments of audacious hardness and transgression, but they must happen naturally, unprovoked.
I wish to point out a few rules relating to this state of mind:
- Alcohol consumption, whilst it is not forbidden, will be regulated. The submissives are not allowed to drink right away, they must absolutely quench their thirst when the time comes… and they will wait for their domme’s authorisation anyway.
- You are allowed to speak only when invited to. This obviously applies to the subs. Courtesy, beyond the spoken word, also manifests itself in the realisation of gentlemanly gestures. Bowing is required throughout the duration of the event.
- There is a safe word, “red”. The utterance of this word will cause the interruption of the game or of a particular practice. Thanks to this rule, misunderstandings and excesses are meticulously avoided.
In my dungeon in Paris 5th district, I make it a rule to establish an “ownership contract”. It is on this occasion that we agree upon a word or safety phrase. Let me remind you: sadomasochism, when practiced in a legal and ethical way, doesn’t allow for any form of constraint or coercion.
A true ode to women
If you read my newsletter regularly, you already know it: I do not hesitate to affirm and exert my feminine power. When I attend the Femdom Ball or similar events, I find sorority.
It is a community of women who, like me, know and deploy their inner strength, the power that makes us sisters.
Travelling to London and participating in the great celebration which interests us means accepting, integrating, and holding as evident the ascendance of one’s dominatrix… but not only. The organisation of this convention has been thought to put the emphasis on female strength.
- Slaves (I do not personally use that term; I am paraphrasing the ball’s spokespeople) do not show themselves right away. They are required to wear a balaclava during the first hour. It is about shining a light on women, the true centre of attention.
- All the devoted will be on a leash (without necessarily having to move around on all fours). There again is an allegory. It is an allegory of obedience, and quite simply, submission.
- No one is allowed to sit next to the women. It is not a gesture of discrimination. This rule corresponds to the concept in its entirety: ladies have the place of honour, they have their own corner, where their solidarity vibrates.
A Parisian domme at the Femdom Ball
Lady Saylie, an authoritarian and eroticised dominatrix from Paris, will attend the event in 2024. As mentioned above, I am looking forward to basking again in this exceptional atmosphere. I am certain the party will be fantastic, as there will be 200 sisters-colleagues to delight the eyes with their splendour.
I am always in awe of the creativity and audacity of these women, and I am proud to belong to the list of invited dommes, for as you already know, holding a whip and speaking louder isn’t enough to establish a relation of submission.
BDSM, or sado-masochism, has to be modelled and shaped. The Femdon Ball pays tribute to the exceptional beings who carry on the tradition, whilst giving room to innovation.
A preciously guarded anonymity
No, I will not make any revelation pertaining to my identity there. I will not be withdrawn, on the contrary, for I will have the pleasure to partake in the shooting of a movie. But I will remain faithful to my principles of discretion and anonymity.
Beyond the obvious precautions inherent to this approach, I believe that this choice contributes to my character’s charm. It is a character that borrows from the “me”, from who I am, whilst displaying characteristics specific to Mistress Saylie.
The headdress I will be wearing (a splendid blonde one) aims to hide my trye identity whilst affirming that of a domme with a definite sense of style, a domme that is scenic without being hypocritical. I also happen to wear a helmet — I then let imagination do its work, playful to the smallest of details.
Good to know — When secretiveness arouses desire
The Femdom Ball in my BDSM blog
Apart from the celebration of women, which I’ve talked about in great details, it is about praising the art of domination. Some of my colleagues have decided to “expose themselves” (I use these words in a neutral way, without any pejorative connotation). They willingly show their faces. Others, like me, have renounced this total transparency.
Whatever. Inside the world of BDSM, the ways of expressing oneself are many. This is also what I like with these conventions — and the promise is the same with the Femdom Ball. It isn’t a competition, with the supposition of a hostile rivalry between different dommes. On the contrary, there is a silent complicity that appears from the very first glances. We are mobilised around a common culture, which transcends appearances, nationalities and curriculums.
I want to break the necks of stereotypes that stain our activities. Fundamentally, when everything is done with diligence and responsibility, sado-masochism isn’t synonymous with violence. It transpires in my BDSM blog; everything you read there follows the same guiding lines.
Eroticism, desires, the pleasure of the game of submission and domination can only exist in a positive atmosphere, without being naïve. I will never take part in a meeting where one imposes suffering with the spirit of revenge. Let’s never forget the difference between sado-masochism and sadism; there is more one nuance there!
When the illustrator Sardax immortalises my attendance with his art at the Femdom Ball
I’ve already had the pleasure to introduce Sardax on my BDSM blog. This illustrator draws the universe of dominatrixes wonderfully. He knows how to transpose with grace and subtility the nuances of eroticised authority. After a fructuous collaboration on my saga Dom’Innate (which he talks about here), the artist magnificently gives life to my future meeting with Mistress Caramel, the fascinating and awesome host of the Femdom Ball. Soon, on October 5th precisely, I will actually take those stairs, holding my little subs on a leash; the tribute to dominatrixes will be at its paroxysm, as is the case every year.
Let’s add that, with an immoderate pleasure, I will be with Nes Harper, the excellent and flamboyant organiser of the Goûters du Divin Marquis. Mistress Thaïs, a pole dance performer, will also be there. I admire her agility, her elegance, and I am looking forward to play besides her.
The Femdom Ball 2024: will you have the pleasure to give me a kiss of the hand?
It goes without saying: you do not attend this London gala as if you were entering a mill. If you want to know more about how to apply, I invite you to follow this link, which provides a lot of information.
With this post, I was able to (I wanted to) insist on the values that make this great party possible. Every person allowed to take part must accept the general contract, or risk damaging the organisation of those days… or vacate the premises.
Will you, too, be amongst the docile and obedient submissives who will dance at the ball and play according to imposed rules? If our paths cross, do not forget to execute every gesture, every sign of respect and devotion. The kiss of the hand is a staple of reverence. To the one who would forget this sublime courtesy, I would not grant a dance.
Do you want to know more about sado-masochism in general… as well as my own universe in particular? You have questions about the different practices that come with the scenarios between dominatrix and dominated? Feel free to explore the rest of my BDSM blog.
It is also possible to contact me directly. Be careful, however! Directly does not in any way mean brutally. I expect a polite approach, with courtesy and delicious mindfulness. My expectations in terms of devotion are exactly that of the ball.
